The Cult That Sings Together Stays Together

The Cult that Sings Together Stays Together

“How do you keep a cult together?” Andreas’ biggest concern had one simple answer: Singing.

I was walking through the produce aisle at Harris Teeter this morning, mindlessly feeling plums and singing along to the supermarket music, when I realized those weren’t the words. I was singing the Buddhafield version of Third Eye Blind’s “How’s It Gonna Be?”. The realization didn’t come alone—It brought with it the face of my former cult leader.

The Power of Music

Let’s face it: Songs bring back memories. Music creates associations with moments, memories, and even people. Sometimes good, sometimes bad, and sometimes (in my case) cult-related.

As Andreas knew well, there are many benefits to singing in a group:

• It releases dopamine and endorphins.
• It creates a sense of community and bonds you as a group.
• It relaxes.
• It strengthens the immune system.

Andreas used music to his advantage. He capitalized on the power of songs and used them to twist our beliefs and emotions into what he wanted them to be. He would sit at the front of the room on his throne-like chair that was swathed in blue silk, and look out over his sea of disciples. He held all our emotions—of love, of desire—and let us project them onto him without judgment. While we would sit on our yoga cushions, and blankets and let everything inside of us pour out.

We did this four or five times a week—in class, on Sundays after the movies, and at Satsang. If we got together, you could be sure someone would break out guitars, ukuleles, or bongos. One time, a woman showed up with a clarinet.

That All-Natural High

Singing together was so important that there were hundreds of songs to choose from in a special binder. Music has a powerful effect on the brain, and the songs that we sang repeatedly served two purposes:

#1. To Bond

Singing together is one of my favorite memories of the Buddhafield. When we sang, it felt like we were all a single strand of a thick jump rope, rising and falling together, totally in tune. When we sang, we were one voice. There was no separation between us, whether we were hundreds gathered in church or just a handful in someone’s living room.

Singing together was a group high. My troubles melted away as we got swept up in the experience.

#2. To Burn A Message Our Brains

The ability of music to create associations and connect memories was a weapon Andreas knew how to wield.

Even seventeen years after escaping, the Buddhafield version of songs is the first version that comes to mind. The altered lyrics were burned in there with a soldering tool—branded on me and scarring my long-term memory.

One of the most common messages ingrained in us was that we adore Andreas, that he is our Master, and that we listen and bow to him.

In the case of Third Eye Blind’s “How’s It Gonna Be?”, the words I knew were quite different. The original lyrics “How’s it gonna be, when you don’t know me anymore” became “What you are to me, is Hare Krishna, Hare Ram-a” and although the words “Oh my Lord” remained the same, it was directed toward Andreas. 

It wasn’t just this song that was changed for Andreas, but hundreds of songs. Every change served a similar purpose, and the prevailing message weaseled its way into our long-term memory without us realizing it.

Conclusion

Identifying what Andreas has stamped as his in my mind has been an important part of my recovery. I’m taking back those stolen parts. I’m reclaiming them. They don’t belong to him.

For most people, getting out of a cult doesn’t take a day or a year. It’s a process of working through different aspects one step at a time, acknowledging them, and letting them go. It takes many years.

Almost anyone who participated in a religion—or a cult—can remember a time when singing together brought you closer to fellow members. Although singing isn’t inherently bad, it can be when used in a mind-controlling environment.

I enjoyed singing together. I have a lot of great memories that involve singing with other members, but now that I’ve left the cult, the memories haunt me. Was the joy I felt just another trick of Andreas’? I’m afraid I’ll never have an answer.

Part of my journey to reclaim these songs involves recognizing them and searching my mind for other branding hiding there. It’s been tough, but the more I work at it, the sooner I’ll be rid of Andreas’s lasting influence. And with time and work, that gets less and less every day. And the next time I hear ‘Oh, Sweet Lord’, I’ll be saying—”no, this song is not about Andreas.” And I will consciously let go of all that.

What about you? Have you ever sung in a group? If so, share your experience below in the comments and let me know if it was similar.